Photo Credit: polarpencilpusher.home.blog

The ask interested me, but I had forgotten about the pencils by the time she got home from work. Forgetting is something I repeatedly do throughout the day. I also grumble about getting out of my chair to answer the door or get something, and no matter how often I ask them, the dogs never tell me what they're barking at. But during dinner, Chris mentioned the pencils. Our son Jonathan told her those were the best pencils for sketching and drawing, one of her hobbies. She checked a couple of stores and didn't find them, so she put them on the list on the off chance I might find them at the grocery store. 

I picked up my phone. It's not unusual for me during dinner to check the weather, type a reminder, search for something neither of us can remember (what was the show we used to watch with that person from the movie we saw that time when the babysitter burnt the kids chicken nuggets?), or open the Ring camera to see what the dogs are barking at. After a few swipes and some thumb-tapping, I put it down.

“You’ll have them tomorrow. I found them on Amazon,” I said. With such pride, you would have thought that instead of buying them online, I planned on making them by hand. 

“I was going to check Amazon eventually, but sometimes I just like to shop,”  she replied. She likes wandering the aisles to see what else she might find, which to me is the equivalent of someone telling me they like to stick themselves repeatedly in the thigh with pointed sticks or voluntarily watch a Nicholas Cage movie. 

Outside of groceries, I go to a physical store for whiskey, books, and fishing gear. Even then, I get most of my books and fishing gear online, and I'll buy from a local merchant if I need something specific and fast. If I have to go to a larger store, and it has the capability, I’ll check their inventory online to make sure they have the item I want.  I’ve surrendered most of my retail existence to algorithms. Wandering aisles for me is clicking ads in social feeds or websites’ recommended lists, or considering their "customers who bought this item also bought these" suggestions. 

I needed a birthday card for someone, so the next day, triggered by our conversation, I decided to get one at Target and wander the aisles and browse. I’ve never spent much time at Target, but I’ve seen too many memes about people going there for a tube of toothpaste and leaving with a three-hundred-dollar tab, so I promised myself I’d buy just the card. 

I toured housewares, sporting goods, books, electronics, pet supplies, toys, infants, and music. I got some ideas for cookware, a new reading lamp, some toys for Carter, and some things for the latest grandbaby, Hudson. I also found a better deal on cat food and dog treats. I wondered if anyone but Colleen Hoover and James Patterson are writing and selling books, and I laughed to see there were more albums than CDs, something I haven’t seen in over 30 years. My walk also triggered some gift ideas. 

Then, on a whim, I checked out school and office supplies. And hanging from a display rod was a row of Black Ticonderoga Number Two pencils, and much cheaper than what I paid for them. 

I left the store grumbling about the pencils. Distracted by my internal pencil purchase flogging, I was nearly out of the parking lot before I realized I forgot to buy the birthday card and had to return to the store. I'm not adding Target and other department stores to my regular stops, but I will do a bit more brick-and-mortar shopping and browsing in the future.   

Now the dogs are barking. They won’t tell me who it is, but I think it’s the Amazon driver dropping off the pencils. I'll get them later. I don't feel like getting out of my chair.