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Johnny Depp. Famous showman P.T. Barnum said, “there’s no such thing as bad publicity.”  If he lived to witness Depp’s testimony in the actor’s libel suit against Amber Heard, Barnum would have publicly apologized for this statement and then proceeded to destroy his Pirates of the Caribbean boxset and Edward Scissorhands 25th anniversary Blu-Ray edition. Without repeating any of the actor's cringing testimony, it's telling when Howard Stern, the man who spent his entire career overly promoting and talking about himself, calls Depp a narcissist. Depp and Will Smith should partner in an oil change franchise when the trial is over. Johnny can mumble the prices when you pull in, and Will can bully you into getting your air filter replaced. 

Pepsi Nitro. No soda should ever describe itself as a nitrogen-infused creamy smooth cola with a mesmerizing cascade of tiny bubbles topped by a frothy foam head. Tiny Bubbles is the exclusive property of Hawaiian crooner Don Ho, and we should limit our nitrogen intake to Guinness and peanut butter. Surely there's someone at the cola’s headquarters who remembers Crystal Pepsi.   

Netflix. This month the streamer lost subscribers for the first time in a decade. To stop the bleeding, the company is thinking of allowing viewers to give not just one, but two thumbs up for shows, and cracking down on password sharing. These are the type of bold moves you would expect from the network that gave us the blind dating show, Sexy Beasts, where contestants wear animal heads to hide their identity. The last time the company ran into trouble, it changed its name to Qwikster.  Maybe this time they should consider calling themselves Crystal Pepsi.

Sarah Palin. The woman who helped kill John McCain’s chance at becoming president and who, in comparison, raises Kim Kardashian’s political astuteness to the level of Madeleine Albright, is running for Congress. Palin made her announcement on April 1, prompting some to wonder if it was, in fact, a real April Fools' Day joke. If only. 

The USFL. This month saw the return of the United States Football League. If someone was going to bring back something disastrous from the 1980s, couldn’t it have been Members Only jackets or David Hasselhoff?

CNN +. The all-streaming network was canceled less than a month after its launch. It seems company executives erred in thinking the answer to improving people’s perception of the media was more Wolf Blitzer. Although the project was a miserable failure, they did succeed in getting Chris Wallace off Fox, and there's finally something at CNN that began and ended faster than a Larry King marriage.     

Gaslit. This Starz network mini-series is focused on Martha Mitchell, wife of former Nixon administration Attorney General John Mitchell. Julia Roberts plays Martha, and Sean Penn, buried under a ton of latex, plays John. The premier episode was cringeworthy and gave a black eye to any sense of Watergate history. Although Martha may have witnessed some of the debacle’s backstory, the only one getting gaslit in the telling of this story are the unsuspecting viewers who think they are going to get an accurate retelling of this Nixon era debacle. Before anyone ever thought of sitting Sean Penn down in the make-up chair, they should have used the latex to bury the story pitch. 

Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter. People like Twitter. It has its problems, but it is still a valuable source of information and offers a worldwide platform for self-expression. Elon Musk has come under his share of criticism, but there is no underestimating the positive impact his companies, SpaceX and Tesla, have had on society. But people also liked Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. And you see what happened when they got married. 

Rivian.  This electronic vehicle manufacturer’s CEO RJ Scaringe is said to be Elon Musk’s kryptonite in the EV space.  Despite billions of investment backing, it can’t seem to ramp up production. In April, Rivian once again rolled out the red carpet to the media and was rewarded with glowing remarks and digital hugs. The company prides itself on producing pre-orders, press mentions, and jobs.  What it can’t seem to produce is shareholder value and cars. 

The weather. The groundhog's February prediction of six more weeks of winter was at least six weeks too short. For many, spring-like weather has been long in coming.   It’s forced some of us to spend too much time indoors watching television and reading newsfeeds. And you see what that's done to our mood.